In lieu of being creative, I offer you a random IM snippet:

me@work: man… it smells SOOOOOOOO rancid in here
me@work: jokers cooking fish in the microwave
Preble: Fish… FISH. Who does that? Really…
me@work: People that wanna get CUT, thats who
Preble: I mean, seriously… what kind of person brings that in? Tell me about them.
Preble: Better: tell The Blog.
Preble: [osphere].
me@work: Old guy. FORTRAN programmer. Primary project is called “SPAM”.
Preble: Brings in leftover fish.
me@work: Flagged for garbage collection.